Can I Help You??

Disclaimer: Judgmental, rude and possibly offensive material included.

So tonight I tried to help an older woman who was checking out at Wal-Mart. She was in one of those motorized carts, she had a basket full of groceries and it looked like she was having trouble reaching over the handle bars to get all of the groceries onto the conveyor belt. I only sat there for a second before I realized I should offer to help her. So I set my groceries down and walked around the cart to see if she needed any help.

"Ma'am, can I help you with these?" I asked as I reached into her cart.

"No!! But if you're in such a hurry to check out, why not just cut in front of me?!"

It wasn't quite the response I was anticipating, but I offered again.

"Oh no." I said with a smile. "I'm not in a hurry. I was just wondering if you needed help reaching some of your groceries??"

"No, I don't need any help!! And you can get your hands off of my things!!"

"Alright" I thought, as I backed away... "Never mind."

I walked back to my spot in line and continued to watch her reach awkwardly for the last couple cans of cat food.

Now, quick pause from my story: Cat food. She had a BAJILLION cans of cat food in her basket!! I should have known! Cat people are never normal. Plus, she was wearing a bright pink wool poncho. Of course something strange was going to happen with this woman!! What did I expect??

Now usually, my first thought when I see people driving motorized carts is that they must have some sort of handicap that prevents them from being able to walk. So I thought she was handicapped. But as I watched her standing between the seat and the handle bars of her cart, reaching for that last can of food, I realized, "Wait, she's standing..." She didn't have a cane. Or a brace on. The only thing that I could see that may have prevented her from walking around the store was the extra 200 pounds she was carrying on her body.

So then I thought to myself, "Lady, are you really handicapped?? Or are you just too lazy/too fat to walk around the store to get dinner for your 5,000 cats??

"And if you ARE too lazy to walk around the store, how can you have the energy to stand there like that in a half-squat while you try to get all of the cat food out of your basket??

"And if you really ARE handicapped, why not let me help you?? And if you're just being lazy, why not let me do it for you??"

But instead, she yelled at me for being impatient and will forever be known to me as...

"The Lazy, Fat, Maybe Handicapped, 

Cat Woman from Wal-Mart."

The End.